LET THEM! and LET ME...

A Review of The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins from Meghan Dow

The Let Them Theory developed to book- is a beautiful simplification and combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and a 12 step program. It helps us to understand that in an attempt to control others’ feelings, moods and actions we not only lose our own control but increase our anxiety. The direct opposite of what we were trying to do in the first place. Put well “when you stop trying to control things that aren’t yours to control, you stop wasting your energy; and reclaim your time, peace of mind, and focus.” We let others (Let Them) live their lives, control their emotions, moods, and actions and begin to refocus on what we can control, reduce our anxiety and live better lives. This is the Let Me!

The chapter on how to love difficult people is one of my favorites. Emphasis on how this is where using The Let Them Theory becomes more difficult. Family systems are intricate and webbed, any effect on them impacts the entire system. You use the Let Them Theory to allow loved ones to have opinions and judgements with ease through using a frame of reference- understanding the lens in which loved ones see things. Understanding their lived experience, and yours are different; and acceptance you are both right as you have different frames of reference, two truths can exist at the same time. In this space of two truths being true at the same time is where there is space for LOVE. “All it takes is one person to change the way they show up in a family, and the entire system can change for the better, and that one person is YOU.” Seeing them as they are, human. Acceptance to see them with compassion and then the Let Me, recognizing your own values, limitations and what makes you happy.

Comparison the teacher- Let Them lead the way. You are not competing with others, you see something someone has and you want, then let them show you the way. Other people’s wins are the guideline/patent for YOU. Let them wake you up. “Stop turning life into a competition, no one else’s wins are your losses, change the way you look at other peoples’ success and people start leading the way for you to create your own.” -Brillant

The book goes through the Let Them Theory and it’s practical implications to career, relationships, influencing change and changing yourself for the better. Giving you the power to influence your life! I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.